Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize