Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
His nipple licking is glorious
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