This girl is more easily done than said...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
