If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
