Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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