Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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