I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
