Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
