We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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