we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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