YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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