Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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