we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
being pregnant is like rehab
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
