Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
