youre lurking in front of me
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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