i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
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I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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