She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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