chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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