I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize