I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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