im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize