that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize