imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Send help, water and tortillas.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
