I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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