Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
