I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize