look no pants
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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