I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
