sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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