Umm I'm too high to move.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
