So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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