i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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