the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize