He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
