Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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