I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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