I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
