Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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