you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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