dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
