Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
