I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize