Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
