He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
