That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
