Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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