I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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