I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
