tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
