i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize