So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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