Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
