drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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