my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
