remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Randomize