that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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