there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
