I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize