u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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