Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
